嫌われる勇気

「嫌われる勇気・・・」ドキッとする言葉です。
2013年には「嫌われる勇気」という本も出版されており、現在はドラマも放映されていますね。もちろん、わざわざ人の嫌がることをして嫌われるという意味ではありません。これは「アドラー心理学」という考え方です。
できるだけ嫌われないように生きている人が多いと思いますし、私ももちろん嫌われるより好かれたい。これが普通の感情だと思います。特に日本人は、「これを言ったら他人にどう思われるだろうか?」「これをしたら嫌われないだろうか?」という嫌われることへの恐怖心が強くあります。そのため、自分の考えとは裏腹に周りに合わせたり、流されたりすることが多いものです。
でも本来はどうやって生きていきたいのかというと、仕事も家庭も友人関係も全部含めて、「人に合わせる」ことではなく、「幸せに生きたい」ではないでしょうか?幸せという形は、人それぞれ違いますし、同じ環境でも幸せと思える人と不幸だと思う人はいますが、やはりみんな幸せになりたいですよね。
心理学でも色々な考え方がありますが、私はこの「アドラー心理学」の考え方は、シンプルで身近な感じがして、前向きで好きです。簡単に言うと「幸せになるためにはどうしたらいいか」というもの。この「アドラー心理学」をもう少し詳しく見てみましょう。
アドラー心理学とは
今から100年ほど前に、アフレッド・アドラーが創始したもので、正式名称は「個人心理学」です。「すべての悩みは対人関係である」として、人間の行動は、過去の経験や育ちや環境などから決められるのではなく、自分の今の目的に沿って動くことができる、というものです。「トラウマは存在しない」という考え方で、過去を持ち出すのは言い訳に過ぎないというものです。アドラーの個人心理学は、欧米では当時から高く評価されていましたが、日本では、本の出版などでここ数年でブームになっています。
トラウマは存在しない
現在の自分が抱えているものは、育った環境や過去のトラウマが原因だとか、そのトラウマの根本を理解することを重要視するというような考え方が多く浸透している中で、「トラウマは存在しない」という考え方は斬新で新鮮な考え方です。これは個人的にも勇気を与えられる考え方であると感じます。なぜなら過去は変えられないから。つい、過去の環境や育ちを言い訳にして、現在の自分を肯定しようとしてしまうもの。それは、過去を理由に変われないのではなく変わらないだけ。現在もこれからも、どちらかの道を選んだり、どういう道に進むかを判断できるのは自分の意思次第です。自分の行動を決めるのは、今の自分次第であり、自分が変わる勇気を出すことであると言えます。
劣等感
「劣等感」という言葉があるのは、このアドラー心理学から生まれたと言われます。劣等感とは、他人より自分が怠っていると思う感情のことで、自分が自分自身に抱く感情です。例えば、走るのが遅いから劣等感を持っている、身長が低いことが劣等感など・・・。しかし、半分お水の入ったコップを見て、まだ半分もあると思うのか、あと半分しかないと思う人がいるように、同じ事実でも捉え方次第で変わります。走るのは遅いけど、泳ぐのは早いと考えるだけで、全く違うものの捉え方になります。しかも自分が感じている劣等感は自分自身であり、他人が同じように思うとは限らないのです。自分の考え方を変えるだけで、劣等感をなくし、思い込みから解放されることができます。
人間の悩みの全ては対人関係
基本、誰かから褒められたいと思うでしょうし、他人から認められるために行動したり、周りの評価を気にして行動することが多いのではないでしょうか。SNSが普及し、様々な人と繋がることのできる世の中になったことで、誰とでも繋がり、誰からも嫌われないような感覚が浸透しています。「いいね!」ボタンはその象徴かもしれません。いい評価だけをもらうためにいい顔をしたり、他人から嫌われないように生きようとすると周りに合わせて自分の思う通りに行動できなかったり、言いたいことを言えなくなります。それでは自分らしく自由に生きられません。誰からも嫌われない生き方なんてできません。自分勝手という意味とは違い、自分らしく生きること、嫌われる勇気を持って行動することで、自分を変えられることができるでしょう。
まとめ
確かに、人生どんな場面にも人間関係がつきものです。どんな有能な人も誰にもかかわらず仕事を成功させることはできませんし、いくらやりがいがある仕事でも人間関係が悪いとうまくいきません。もちろん家庭でもプライベートでも人と人が関わっていますね・・・。そう考えると悩みの元をたどればやはり人と人なのかもしれません。
嫌われるのが嫌だという願望があるのは仕方がないことですが、自分が嫌われるかどうかは他人次第。人と比べたり、人をコントロールするのは困難です。結局、どんなことも自分次第。自分の人生は自分しか切り開けません。だから人のせいや過去のせいにするのではなく、自分の目的のために自分自身が決断して行動することが、幸せは人生に繋がると感じます。
心理学にもいろいろな考え方があり正解不正解はありませんが、それをもし理解しても簡単に行動したり、いきなり考え方を変えたりはできないものです。繰り返すことと少しずつでも行動してみる、一歩前に進んでみることで、行動も考え方も徐々に身についてくるものだと思います。
前職はウエディングプランナー。現在は、2人の育児をしながらリスティング広告、Facebook広告などのweb広告運用やセミナーを開催。多角的視点から考える広告運用やマーケティング情報をお届けします。
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Great web site. Lots of useful info here. I am sending it to some friends ans also sharing in delicious. And obviously, thanks for your effort!
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2023年05月29日 11:10
Thanks for your interesting article. Other thing is that mesothelioma is generally the result of the inhalation of fibers from asbestos, which is a very toxic material. Its commonly found among individuals in the engineering industry who have long experience of asbestos. It is caused by residing in asbestos covered buildings for a long time of time, Genetic makeup plays a huge role, and some individuals are more vulnerable on the risk in comparison with others.
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2023年05月29日 21:33
You can certainly see your expertise in the paintings you write. The arena hopes for even more passionate writers such as you who are not afraid to mention how they believe. At all times go after your heart.
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2023年05月30日 21:26
My brother suggested I might like this website. He was entirely right. This post truly made my day. You cann't imagine just how much time I had spent for this info! Thanks!
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2023年05月31日 04:54
I?m impressed, I need to say. Really hardly ever do I encounter a blog that?s both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you've gotten hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the issue is one thing that not sufficient people are speaking intelligently about. I am very comfortable that I stumbled throughout this in my search for something regarding this.
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268396 436297Some genuinely rattling work on behalf of the owner of this web site , utterly fantastic content material material . 1654